No matter what is going on, what challenges I must face, what difficult decisions I must make, how my body feels or what specifically my mind is thinking about, this Will, this rising force from deep inside of me, never fails to emerge.
What is it though? Where is it coming from? Am I different from other people? Many people seem to think so, assuming that they are just “cut out differently” or that I cannot possibly have the same issues or problems that they do.
Why is it that I don’t know the meaning of the words “boring”, “ordinary”, “pointless”? The funniest part of it all is that it is all so simple, so extraordinary simple! Yet "normal" understanding cannot conceive it...
I have two large plants on my balcony, which have been through a lot with me. Moving from house to house, changing climates, surroundings, conditions, they are still growing, still thriving, as if nothing is bothering them, nothing is affecting their Will. They have been turned over by strong winds, tossed by careless people and squashed in moving trucks, they have been dehydrated at times when I haven’t been well but still, they grow, still they attempt to be all they are meant to be.
Going out and greeting my trees in the morning, or whenever I take a break during the day, I realize that my plants don’t need rituals, timetables or academic knowledge to grow. I communicate with them, not in words, not in repeated rituals of set movements, I don’t even do anything as a goal; so that they will grow and bear fruit or beauty "for me". I listen, I feel, because trees "speak", they tell me what they need, what they don't like. I can feel their Will, deep inside of me, unmistakeable and decoded in clear images and emotions that transcend normal thinking.
I see them! I touch them with my heart, where feelings have no matching words; I thank them for being so beautiful, for hanging on, despite the difficulties. My heart rejoices with each tiny, new leaf that appears, seemingly out of nowhere, on a bright sunny day. “Hi, little one, welcome to the world”! And I can feel the response, I can “see” the gratitude of recognition and the connection, which is beyond any evidence that normal eyes can see.
I remember once, when I had the opportunity to live in a house with a garden, I learned so much, but not from people. The learning came from trees, nature and my own Self.
I never liked raking the leaves from the garden. People advised me to do so, "otherwise the grass would turn yellow and dry up". But that grass was not a natural addend to the environment. And the falling leaves were so beautiful, forming an irreplaceable carpet of unique design and color. And the little weeds, growing around plants and trees, with little flowers popping out here and there...I didn't like plucking them all out.
Are we so totally different from the rest of the world; nature and I? What do people really mean by "natural surroundings"? It all became very clear to me... The word "natural" has lost most of its initial and true meaning...
No, I didn't know all the names of the plants and the trees, and I cannot remember all the people's names, who I meet. But a name doesn't make a person nor does science make a tree. And trees don't like to have ornaments hanging from them, little artificial lights changing their beauty and their purpose. Yet, people don't understand the language of nature in societies. They understand their own image, which they fearfully attempt to defend and decorate.
Soon I will have to leave my plants. Like them, I have been traveling, serving the essence of who I Am... I suppose like everyone does too! Yet is seems that people rush by and don’t have time to appreciate the wonders of their own essence, all the wisdom they hold in their own self. How can they really SEE nature before that? Thy don’t realize its existence, its great desire to live, thrive and serve. They don't even realize their own existence, their own core desire to live, thrive and serve. Yet nature still continues to do so and so do we. Why?
Because that is what we are meant to do. Because it is the blueprint of nature and people, who are part of nature but have forgotten it. Because it is written in the trees' code of creation, in their little seed, which turned into these beautiful trees, now standing gracefully on my balcony.
Just imagine… All they needed was for one person to plant the seed, to nurture it as it grew, another to sell it or pass it on to a new “owner” and yet another to watch it grow, to care enough so that no matter what, he would continue to nourish and care for it. That’s just three or four people out of millions. And yet they became trees, they produced fruits, they blossomed and still do. Even in the city, which they were not used to. Even within all the pollution, the noise and the busy passers-by. And most of the trees of the Earth still grow and thrive, even with no help from Man...
An amazing force of Will! It comes from all that we have forgotten to do: pay attention. Yet, this kind of attention is not found in schools, in normal institutions or systems of society. These types of feelings are not recognized or felt in normal living. Only, "normal living" is a slow death sentence, which hangs over most people, still ignorant of its existence. And yet, they continue to support all this as "normal". An artificial type of living, leading to nowhere...
Yet, I'll find someone to care for my trees - because I know that they are not "mine" - and who will hopefully plant them in a piece of land where they will join other trees and thrive with them, probably remembering where they came from, who carried them and watered them, spoke to them and encouraged them to hold on, as I move on to where I am meant to travel next....
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