November 15, 2013

I don’t have to change the world, what a relief!

When people ask me what I DO, I invent all sorts of answers and they are different each time. I usually say, “I strip people of their deceptions” or “I am the bitch who mirrors to people what they don’t want to see” or better still, "I am the one who shakes you to awaken because you asked me to”. Anyway…

I’m not on a mission to save the world, change people or persuade anyone about anything. Nevertheless, I “specialize” on paradoxes, that often drive people crazy… sometimes I drive myself crazy too.

I’m a passionate person, so either you’re in or you’re out. Either you move your legs on the bicycle or you fall. As simple as that! Sometimes I see the hole, and drive right into it.

Like every other “normal” person, my ego loves drama. The comforting and liberating change that has happened over the years, is that I am able to observe the play while it’s being played. And although I experience it fully on a certain level, there is always the level where I am totally detached, observing everything, taking everything in, accepting and allowing, knowing (by now) that “the light always shines on the other side”.

The amazing thing about observing yourself and not identifying with the ego, which is just a structure anyway, is that you learn amazing things each moment (literally), you change each moment (literally), you become wiser each moment (literally) and a better player at life.

That which still amazes me is that so many people really don’t know how to observe themselves and separate the self from the ego. What amazes me even more is that they consider so many other things more important than this, yet self-observation is (for me) the Alpha and the Omega of conscious living. But, as I said, I’ve quit trying to change people, trying to “show them the light”. What an egotistical thought and attempt! Nowadays, I usually just nod, when people go on and on about their problems, the state the world is in, all that needs doing, their perceived injustices. I’m not much of a social talker.

Does that make me a loner? Yes and no. I am surrounded by people who I love and appreciate, who don’t share my life’s viewpoint, and that’s ok. I don’t give advice and/or opinions, unless my own heart tells me (which means I don't have an egoistic agenda secretly playing in the background) that the other person is really seeking for a way out of the dream-state. I also watch as people play their usual games, not knowing… not even guessing their true intentions.

On the other hand, when you have THIS sort of relationship with your Self, you are never alone, you are never needy and you don’t depend… so you can choose and also allow others to be who they are.

Sure, sometimes it gets tough and anyone who tells you otherwise is probably lying. When you have opened your eyes, and you can see the things that you do, when you can read people better than an MRI, there are times where you want to scream out, soak in tears and grief, you get angry or frustrated, impatient and imposing. Ok, so I’m not perfect! I can usually see through the tactic and quickly turn it around by letting go of MY perception.

Each of my students provides a window to more wisdom, even if they don’t realize it, thinking it’s a one-way process. I don’t believe that the great teachers of this world would be who they are, without the students who surface the wisdom, who challenge consciousness, who make them push for more enlightenment.

I never know what I am going to say. I never have an agenda or a certain way to do things. This scared me in the beginning. I was taught (as we all are) to be prepared, to be structured, to have a plan. I was never good at any of this (being “dyslexic”), so it wasn’t too hard for me to dump that whole left-brain process. Nevertheless, I was left with nothing. Or that’s what I thought.

When I am presented with a situation or a question, the answer or the guidance just surfaces up and the words come clear to my mouth, with no effort and no intervention from myself (the ego). Afterwards, if I am asked to repeat what I just said, it’s impossible for me to do so. Thank goodness some of my lessons are in writing, so we can go back to what was said when we need to. It’s in the stillness of the mind that knowledge and wisdom arises. It’s beyond all the thoughts, opinions, preferences, where pure consciousness reveals itself.

The one question that I cannot and won't answer is "what would you do if/when...". My answer is always the same, "I don't know", which usually scares and frustrates people.

Today I learned another valuable lesson, talking to one of my younger students. I learned that, when we are unhappy for whatever reason, we express what we have learned, we extend who we are. We learn when we are joyful, when the mind is calm. We have it backwards, and that’s why it’s so difficult to transcend the ego and realize the magic of life.

We have many things backwards… and this is what these articles are all about. Even if it seems at times that I contradict myself. The reality is that opposites need to be merged, for truth is on the other side of duality. But that’s just my opinion!

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