Oh yes, I know the theory; "we are not meant to control but to allow" and "go with the flow". Sure, but... the process is usually unknown and I feel it is the essence of our human experience, where much joy, learning and expanding takes place. We tend to focus on destinations and before we realize it, we've been there, left and what's left is a bitter taste of bitterness because all that matter seem to pass by too fast.
Yet, as for the "good" as well as the "bad", the process is the same and being consciously aware makes all the difference. The greatest wonder of life is discovering and uniting our Self through our experiences.
You need to observe the desire to control: the desire to take your life into your own hands and steer it exactly as you want it. People just don't realize the huge role that control plays in their life. And it is one thing to want to do that with your own life and quite another to include others in "our life" (often without their consent).
Desire is good; it is part of our growth, our essence, our creativity, our joy.
Desire shows you where or in which direction you want to go. But when desire is blind, without knowledge and wisdom, you are more likely to fall into the ego's traps and flat on your face, where pain, disappointment, separation and failure awaits you.
Emotions are very important but they are not your only indicators. They point towards the direction that your heart desires, not to something specific as we have been taught to think. We tend to cling to people, situations, places, even when they are no longer there. But our Soul knows what our Heart desires, way beyond appearances and temporary achievements or failures.
The art of living lies in stepping out of the ego's perceived drama and limited perception for the purpose of attaining a peripheral vision, from the joint perspective of the Soul and Spirit.
It takes some learning (or rather "de-learning") and courage to do but the "view" is unbeatably inspiring and liberating.
Don't blame desire, control or yourself; learn to observe, to detach and marvel at life's wondrous ways.